Experiment XIII
by jlbean
Summary: When Vexen experiments, and something goes wrong  something always manages to  and it intoxicates everyone, what randomness will everyone have to endure? Rated T for intoxication and randomness.
1. Day 1: 4th Wall Crisis

**Experiment XIII**

**Day 1: 4th Wall Crisis**

_Warning: Major OOC because of major intoxication!_

_No…do not get all giddy…nothing…intimate…is _

_going to happen. Ever. Purposely. Or straightforward _

_happening…may be suggestive but…no._

Vexen was in his laboratory working on a new experiment. He slowly pours many liquids into it and then he grabs a large bottle. It is titled "alcohol". Vexen holds the bottle over and-

Xigbar: "Hey Vexie!"

Vexie…er Vex_en_: "I thought I told you not to call me that. And I told you not to enter my laboratory!"

Xigbar: "But I wanted to help."

Vexen: "Oh really?" (Vexen goes oh rlly baby on Xigbar)

Xigbar: "Yesh." (Xigbar goes sad puppy-dog eyes on Vexen)

Vexen: "I'm immune to your puppy-dog eyes Xigbar."

Xigbar: "Oh so you bought that panel…"

Vexen: "Panel? We're not in the 358/2 days game you know!"

Xigbar: "Game?"

Vexen: (Wide-eyed) "Mother of God, what have I done. (Pulls out a radio) 'ABORT MISSION! I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION! BRING IN THE MIND ERASTRANSUBELATOR-INATOR…ER!'"

Radio guy: "Cake sir!"

Vexen: "Cake? WHAT DOES CAKE HAVE TO DO WITH OUR 4th WALL CRISIS?"

Radio Guy: "When I say ok, I say cake. It's more slang n' stuff."

_Meanwhile_

As Vexen was yelling into the phone, Xigbar was pouring a little bit of "alcohol" substances into the mixture. As Vexen suddenly yelled, he dropped the entire bottle into the solution.

Xigbar: "Uh-oh"

Vexen: "What was that sound? Anyway, WHERE'S THE MIND ERASTRENSUBELATOR-INATOR…ER?"

Radio Guy: "Umm, on the elevator, on it's way up."

Vexen: "Oh. Well then, how's your day going?"

Radio Guy: "Well other than a video game, fanfiction star yelling at me and completely hurting my feelings, I'd have to say it's going pretty well."

Vexen: (Face has turned to the "No" meme face) "You told everyone that this was a video game and that it was a FanFiction…you broke the 4th wall YET AGAIN?"

Radio Guy: "Yes…yes I did…"

Vexen: "Oh, okay then."

Elevator: "DING"

Vexen: "Ahh, the mind erastrensubelator-inator…er"

Mind Erastrensubelator-inator…er: (A Shoop-Da-Woop mouth appears a the end of the laser gun) "IM A FIRIN MAH LAZAAR! BLLLAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!"

(Xigbar falls over)

Xigbar: "What happened?"

(Xigbar's alone)

Xigbar: "Hello?"

_Meanwhile_

(Vexen gives his mixture to the Organization moogle)

Vexen: "Sell this moogle slav-er, friend! Wait! I must try a sample to see if it actually weakens you to your limit. I'm sure that_** small**_ dose of "Alcohol" substance will make me dizzy enough to be in my limit!"

(Vexen drinks the substance and instantly he falls asleep)

Vexen: *snore*…lumbe…rjack…vampi…re bunnies…lick…my eyebrows…

_SCENE (or that's it for this chapter)_


	2. Day 1 Afternoon: STOP WITH THE MEME'S

_**Experiment XIII**_

**Authors Note: Hello people of Fanfiction. I welcome you to my Fanfiction, where I control all. I will make this short and split it into segments. 1. The welcome (which you are reading now) 2. The Reviews 3. The Disclaimer**

**Reviews: This segment is dedicated to all my reviewers, or in Chap. 1's case, review_er_.**

**Little Sweety Pea: Why thank you. You are my first review and I appreciate your kindness. Even if I think the chapter was terrible, it's all up to you!**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own it yet. But I've sent my dear Sub-Zero sla-I mean…friend, to capture Sora! Kingdom Hearts will be mine! I promise you! Oh, umm…Sub-Zero came back in with a…black eye…oh dear…this will be harder than I thought! Hmmm…fear not, I will send out my dear cousin to kidnap Sora…no, Kairi! She is a woman and was captured by Axel! Haha! My plan is foolproof! Who is my cousin you may ask? Well (dun)…is name is (Dun)…Sephiroth (DUUNNNN!)**

**Chap. 2: Day 1, Afternoon: QUIT WITH THE MEME'S!**

Vexen awoke from his slumber to feel dizzy. The moogle, being the fool he was, sold this substance to everyone in the Organization. Everyone was dizzy and technically…drunk. As he stirred, he saw a wobbly Demyx. Vexen then (attempted to) ran towards him. He, being the drunk old guzzard he was, fell on his rear that never was. He then suddenly, vomited all over Demyx.

Vexen: (Turned into Dr. Octagonapus): Doctor Octagonapus…BBLLLAAAAARRGGHHHH! (Vomits on Demyx)

Demyx: (Grows a disgusted meme face) Duuuuudeeeeee! Eugh!

Vexen: (grows a Troll face meme) Problem Demyx?

Demyx: (Points a finger at the author/narrator and grows a 'I see what you did there' meme) Oh I see what you did there Jlbean! You made him grow a troll face to say problem like in all the meme's on the internet!

Vexen: (Grows a lol face) L.O.L. (el-Oh-el, actually spells it out when he suddenly pulls out a pair of sunglasses. Where those glasses came from? (suddenly the tootsie pop lolliepop comes out and a deep voicesays the following 'The world may never know' (hey look Inception! A parenthesis inside a parenthesis inside a parenthesis! (The Yo dog meme comes up and says 'Yo Dawg! I heard you like parenthesis so we put parenthesis inside parenthesis inside parenthesis inside parenthesis so you can lol while you lol while you lol while you lol!')))) (Vexen is actually talking now so…) Dear god! More 4th wall crisis! Aww, forget it! Its just going to keep on happening.

Xaldin: (walkes in with a laptop in hand) Hey guys why don't you watch meh play SolItaire!

Vexen: Uh Solitare is only for lonely single people.

Xaldin: (grows a forever alone meme face) No it's not

Demyx: First off JLBEAN, STOP WITH THE MEME'S! I KNOW WERE ALL INTOXICATED BUT JEEZ! Second of all, Solitare is not only for single lonely people. And third, studies actually show that most lonely single people play Solitare. Sorry Xaldin.

Xaldin: (grows a me gusta face) Aww man.

Demyx: (summons sitar) I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP WITH THE MEME'S!

Jlbean: (Grows a troll face) Pssh! What's a sitar gonna do?

Demyx: (Grows a challenge excepted meme) Challenge accepted.

Jlbean: (Still under Troll face) That's a meme!

Demyx: (Goes Me Gusta) Oh.

Jlbean: (Still under influence of Troll Face) Still a meme.

Demyx: (Goes Poker Face)…

Jlbean: (Still under the influence of the Troll Face) Still a-(Suddenly Demyx swings his sitar at-


	3. Day 1 Night: Memephobia

**Experiment XIII**

**Authors note: Hey FanFiction stalk-_erm…readers! _Hows it going? Oh! I updated my profile for all you people…yeah. I hope you all like this chapter and the previous ones too! **

**Reviews: N/A 030 (030 is a face you know)**

**Disclaimer: NOOOO! Sepiroth denied me. That fool! He said that he is oart if Kingdom Hearts so he's not going to kidnap another character of his franchise! Grrr…what to do? Hmmm…Maybe, I could…send out Scorpion to capture her! Flawless! Heheh! I don't own this franchise yet…_YET!_**

**Chap. 3 Day 1 Night: Memephobia**

Jlbean awoke to find a large bruise on his head. Then it all came back to him. Demyx whacked him on the head with a Sitar for all the meme's. All that was on his mind was revenge.

Jlbean: Demyx…prepare…I'm coming for you…

_Meanwhile_

Demyx: woah

Zexion: What is it?

Demyx: I just had the strangest feeling of danger.

Xaldin: (still playing solitare) Does it have anything to do with the author/narrator?

Xigbar: Still playing Solitare like a lonely single guy?

Xaldin: (Get's a forever alone face) Yesh…

Demyx: (Begins to shake angrily) More…MEME'S!

Jlbean: (Points a finger at Demyx) YOU!

Demyx: (points a finger at Jlbean) YOU!

Jlbean: (still pointing) YOU!

Demyx: (still pointing) You?

Jlbean: (still…) STOP SAYING EVERYTHING I SAY!  
>Demyx (still…) STOP SAYING EVERYTHING I SAY BEFORE I SAY IT!<p>

Xaldin: (Me Gusta) What?

Xigbar: (Me Gusta) What?

Zexion: (Me Gusta) What?

Jlbean: (Lol face) L.O.L. (spells it out)

Demyx: Gaaaahhhhh!

Jlbean: (troll face) Problem Demyx?

Demyx: (Begins to rock back and forth on his rear that never was, while holding his knees together with one arm and sucks the thumb of his other hand) mmm…mmm…

Jlbean: (Pulls out a thesis cope. Where it came from (you see a tootsie pop lollipop appear and hear a deep voice say) 'The world may never know') Just as I thought…

Larxene: (Enters with a revealing nurse's outfit on (Suddenly Axel enters the room and gazes at Larxene, drooling with a nosebleed) What is it doctor?

Jlbean: (turns toward Larxene like in a soap opera that ladies watch) He has…memeaphobia!

Zaldin: *Gasp*

Xigbar: *Gasp*

Zexion: (Flips a page of his book)…oh dear…oh dear, oh dear…

Axel: (Still gaping, drooling and his nosebleed is still going strong) …woah…

Larxene: Will he make it doctor?

Axel: (Still gaping, drooling, and his nosebleed has spread to both nostrils) …oh my god…

Jlbean: I don't know…

Xaldin: (Crying)…*Gasp*…

Xigbar: (Blowing his nose)…this can't…be…happening…

Zexion: (Flips a page of his book)...Justin…tell her how you feel!

Vexen: (Walks in) HEY EVERYONE! IT'S A DOLLAR!)

Xaldin: (Instantly stops crying and runs outside) MONEH?

Xigbar: (Tosses the tissue and runs outside) MINE!

Zexion: (Drops his book) JUSTIN CAN WAIT!

Larxene: (Runs outside) NO WAY!

Axel: (Pool of blood and drool ALL OVER his coat AND the floor, suddenly snaps out of it and runs outside after Larxene) MY LOVE!

Jlbean: (Cocks his head) What just happened?

Demyx: You and Larxene just went doctor soap opera on us and then everyone ran outside to get a dollar.

Jlbean: No I mean about Axel.

Demyx: Oh, he saw Larxene in a nurses outfit and went into a perverted stare.

Jlbean: (completely zoned out) Larxene…in a…nurse's…outfit…

Demyx: Yesh…

Jlbean: (Pulls out a camera and runs outside. Where the camera came from (yeah the whole lollipop thing been there done that…) 'The world may never know') Wait up! Oh this is so going on Facebook!

_**Scene**_


	4. Day 2 Morning: Facebook

**Experiment XIII**

**Authors Note: I just realized…You people that read my horrid story…probably wondering why in this world it's named Experiment XIII. Well…Vexen made an experiment that was supposed to weaken you to your limit for a slight amount of time and then heal you…but Xigbar put a large amount of alcohol in it so that's why every one is acting crazy. Explanations, they're awesome. **

**Reviews: **

**Little Sweety pea: Yeah Mr. Owl is a little imbecile. You know you are actually the only one that reviews my stories right? I'm beginning to wonder if you're the only one who reads my story. Processing…attempting…attempting…sorry, failed to care.**

**Disclaimer: Ok…scorpion sucks. He just…sucks. He got himself whooped by Kairi…no wait…oh…hehe…she has bodyguards…that makes sense. Better keep him away from Sub-zero…I knows he got beef with him. Formulating a new plan.**

_Chap. 4, Day 2, morning: _

(P.S. This chapter is based on facebook)

(On Jlbean's page)

Click here to open Larxene nurse pics (Axel da man likes this)

Axel da man: 8D

Larxene: …

Zexion bookworm: Looks like someone' gunna die!

Demyx be rockin: XD

Larxene: …

Demyx be rockin: What I do?

Zexion bookworm: You thought the pics were funny.

Demyx be rockin: Psshhh…no I…didn't

Xald-in da house: LIES!

Demyx be rockin: Umm…wut?

Xiggy: I belive Xaldin said that you lied.

Demyx be rockin: I know that…I just mean…nuthin

Xemnas is a boss: What is the meaning of these…very...umm…pictures…

Lex-a-us: Xemmy likey!

Jlbean: What's with your screen name's? I mean really?

Axel da man: Well what's with your meme's?

Demyx be rockin: SHADDUP!

Xemnas is a boss: And what about YOUR screen name, J-l-bean?

Jlbean: …well my 1st name starts with a J, my middle name starts with an L, and my mommie called me her bean as a baby!

Axel da man: …

Demyx be rockin: …

Zexion bookworm: …

Xald-in da house: …

Xiggy: …

Xemnas is a boss: …

Larxene: …

Jlbean: …point taken…

Larxene: I'm still gunna kill you…

Jlbean: WHY?

Larxene: Every post you post will count as a kunai I throw into you.

Jlbean: So that's…6.

Larxene: No 7…plus the 13 pics in the link so 20.

Jlbean: Well…about those…

Larxene: 21…

Jlbean: But…

Larxene: 22…

Jlbean: Aww, come on you don't really mean…to…kill me…right?

Larxene: …23…

Jlbean: Should I be running?

Larxene: …24…

Axel da man: Yes…yes you should…after you look at those…nice…pictures…one last time…

Larxene: Your not off the hook either Axel…

Jlbean: I did do a good job didn't I!

Larxene: …25…

Jlbean: Oh god…

Larxene: 26…

Jlbean: Running for my life!

Larxene: …27…

Axel da man: Should we help him?

Larxene: NO!

Axel da man: ok…

Jlbean: YES!

Larxene: …28…

Jlbean: Aww…come on!

Larxene: …29…

Jlbean: STOP!

Larxene: …30…you know axel…every kunai I throw at him I'm gunna throw at you too right?

Axel da man: STOP TALKING!

NAEBLj: Hello people of facebook. I am a new guy that is not related to anyone you know.

Larxene: …35…

NAEBLj: 35? Why'd you skip 31, 32, 33, and 34?

Larxene: because you tried to trick me…36…

Axel da man: I'll kill you if you post another post…

Jlbean: But Larxene's going to kill me already!

Larxene: …37…

Axel da man: THAT'S IT!

Jlbean: Mother of god…what have I done?

Vex-in da house: I believe you posted some…happy…pictures of Larxene that made her so mad that she's going to kill you with kunai but since Axel thought it was…nice… and is a complete perv. She's gtoing to kill him too and now since you posted the pictures he's going to kill you for posting them and having him post a like post thet made Larxene wish to kill you and him.

Xald-in da house: You…you stole my POST NAME!

Vex-in da house: No I didn't!

Xald-in da house: YES YOU DID!  
>Vex-in da house: No I didn't!<p>

Xald-in da house: YOUR NAME DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN I IN IT!

Vex-in da house: I just wanted to be cool *sniff* D; ;(

Xald-in da house: SHADDUP! CHANGE IT!

Vex-in da house: Fine

Vexie: Better?

Xiggy: You…you stole my POST NAME!  
>Vexie: No I didn't!<p>

Xiggy: Yeah you did! I have the cute little nickname!

Vexie: Wait…are you…

Xiggy: …wut?

Vexie: Dear god…

Vex Luthor: Better?

Lex Lutthor: Your being sued for copy right.

Vex Luthor: …I blame…Justin Beiber…

Lex Luthor: …that's true…I'll sue HIM!

Vex Luthor: You do that…

Lex Luthor: Cake…

Radio Guy: THAT'S MY SLANG IDEA AND NOBODY USES IT BUT ME!

Lex Luthor: No I literally see cake.

Radio Guy: Oh.

Jlbean: No I actually started it and gave it to you since I'm the author and narrator!

Larxene: …38…

Axel da man: AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

Radio Guy: …oh kaayyyy...

Vex Luthor: Wait, why is your post name Radio Guy?

Radio Guy: Cause I was called Radio Guy on the first chapter.

Lex Luthor: Chapter?

Vex Luthor: Mother of God…

Radio Guy: Here we go again…

Lex Luthor: No I knew that this was a FanFiction!

Vex Luthor: Oh…ok.

Radio Guy: See ya loozers!

Lex Luthor: See ya loozer!

Vex Luthor: I'm not a loozer! I'm Vexen!

Xiggy: Wait your Vexen? Oh sorry, we don't chat with loozers!

**Xiggy logged off.**

**Jlbean logged off.**

**Lex Luthor logged off.**

**Radio Guy logged off.**

**Larxene logged off.**

**Axel Da man logged off.**

**Zexion bookworm logged off.**

**Xald-in da house logged off.**

**Demyx be rockin logged off.**

**Xemnas is a boss logged off.**

**Lex-a-us logged off.**

**The reader logging off.**


	5. Day 2 Noon: Final Fantasies

**Experiment XIII**

**Authors Note: Hello person(s)! Mah PC deleted and restarted mah chap. twice! Meh be upset! Meh go to reviews now!**

**Reviews: **

**Little Sweety Pea: No…he will never be cool, will he?**

**Disclaimer: I have done it! I captured the store clerk from Twilight Town! Kingdom Hearts is mine! HAHA! MINE! And I just got a letter in the mail from Square Enix! I bet it's the contract that I have to sign! …O-O…030…O3O…8O…the letter states…that…the store clerk…is a…non-important character (store clerk: WAAAHHH !-!)…and they will not…trade a franchise…for…a non-important…character…like her…aww well I'll do with her what I wish. (Store clark: O-O) **

_Chap. 5 Day 2 Noon: Final Fantasies of the Organization_

Larxene was in the middle of throwing kunai at Jlbean and Axel while Axel was dodging them and chasing after Jlbean with his Chakrams while aeveryone is sitting with popcorn watching. They each are imagining how they look in this predicament.

Jlbean's fantasy: (Slowmo running with kunai flying past his head like in the matrix and Axel chasing after him in slow-mo as well) A…A…A…A…R…R…R…R…G…G…H…H…H… (slowmo yelling)

Larxene's fantasy: AAARRGGHHH-Uhhh ( Kunai slices into the back of Jlbean's head, and Axel carries Larxene away into the sunset (Wait what?))

Axel's fantasy: AUGGHHHH! (Axel jumps onto Jlbean and brutally cuts him up and kills him, blood everywhere, when he sees Larxene and he runs towards her and _**(CENSORED)**_ O-O)

Xion's fantasy: (Jlbean stops, turns towards her and rips off his shirt to show his six-pack and runs up to her and kisses her and (WOAH WAIT JUST A FREAKIN' MINUTE!))

Roxas' fantasy: (Xion turns towards him and kisses him tende- WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?)

Marluxia's fantasy: (Demyx runs up to him shirtless an- OH COME ON!)

Luxords fantasy: (Larxene stops throwing kunai, axel stops chasing, and Jlbean stops running and they all play poker with Luxord…okkaaaayy…)

Demyx's fantasy: (Demyx takes out his sitar, kills all the meme's and plays a rockin song for everyone, everyone dances, while Larxene and Xion make out with him backstage-COME ON MAN!)

Saix's fantasy: (Saix runs on all four legs and catches all the kunai in his mouth and gives them back to Xemnas to play fetch with him…030…)

Zexion's fantasy: (Zexion pulls out a book and is sucked into it forever so he can live in his wonderland and never have to see all those crazy people again…!-!...)

Lexaus' fantasy: (A bunch of heartless come out of nowhere and he kill them all with his sword…cool…)

Vexen's fantasy: (Jlbean, Axel, and Larxene stop and run over Vexen yelling 'lets hang out with the cool guy!'…never gunna happen…)

Xaldin's fantasy: (Xaldin beats his solitare game and everyone throws him a wild party and Larxene askes him out…forever alone…)

Xigbar's fantasy: (Larxene and Xion run towards him and make out and them they do a three-PERV ALERT! PERV ALERT!)

Xemnas' fantasy: (Xemnas finds a giant heartless and he kills it and Kingdom Heart appears and he gets a heart and falls in love with the woman of his dreams…dude…)

Reality: OH GOD! (Jlbean is running every where dodging the kunai, tripping and stumbling while Axel is stumbling around trying to kill Jlbean and Larxene is covered in lightning chasing them throwing huge amounts of kunai.)

_Scene_


	6. Roxas And Burger King

**Experiment XIII**

**Authors note: Wazza! I gots to talk to youz now! In chap. 4 you fanchicks and fandudes be thinking stuff bouts me n Xion! Well…**

**Xion: You call meh? Jlbean: (runs out of room) Xion: …looks like I'm doing the AN this time.**

**Review: **

**Little Sweety pea: Xion: YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN YOU HEAR ME? (sniper shot heard) SNIPER! (runs out of room) Jlbean: (carrying sniper rifle enters room) ahh…I'm back. Well, that was a very interesting review and yes…haha…ye- Xion: (enters room) WHAT ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO HER…you…you saved me from the sniper…MY HERO! Jlbean: (runs from room) Xion: …I'll get you someday…just you wait…**

**Disclaimer: Well, the store clerk is his…what to do? Epiphany. His moogles! He send he moogles to capture! He take Sora! Hehe! Wait, but he already has me? Hmm… (sniper shot) DEAR GOD! **

_Day 2 Afternoon: Roxas and Burger King_

Roxas got a job. 'Nuff said.

Roxas: Hello welcome to burger king, how may I take your order?

Voice: Witchcraft.

Roxas: Hello?

Voice: Honney! Dis here machine be talking to meh!

Voice 2: Oh mah gawd!

Voice: I'm outta heer!

Roxas: …erm…

_10 minutes later_

Roxas: Hello welcome to burger king may I take your order?

Voice: HouAchohaCHajihHusjjchHJUHn (the exorcist noises)

Roxas: …uh…boss…

Riku: Yesh…

Roxas: This dude is making the exorcist noises…and since when were you the boss?

Riku: Since today…

Roxas: Why?

Riku: Cause I'm so awesome…

Roxas: Ok…what should I do?

Riku: …be a man…

Roxas: …okaayyy…

Roxas (to voice): …hey umm…I don't…speak…exorcist…

Voice: Oh…okay…I'll just go elsewhere…

Roxas: No…wait!

Riku: …Your being moved to the window…

Roxas: …ok…

_At the window_

Roxas: Ok…you had the whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper, and the fries? Oh and the who-XION? JLBEAN?

Xion and Jlbean simultaneously: Roxas!

Xion: Awww…we said it at the same time!

Jlbean: (wide eyed) …dear god…

Xion: (cuddles up to Jlbean)

Jlbean: (eye twitches) Where's the food?

Roxas: (teasing) Here you go my fabulous _couple! _(gives the food)

Jlbean: (word couple echoes in his head) …mother of god…

Roxas: (grows a troll face) Problem?

Demyx: (Appears in the distance with a sniper rifle) MEME'S! (Shoots Roxas)

Roxas: (Falls over)

Jlbean: You missed to face Demyx!

Demyx: (challenge accepted meme) Challenge accepted…

Jlbean: That's a meme…oh god…

Jlbean drives away quickly with Xion holding him close and Demyx shooting at the car repeatedly.

Jlbean: Leggo!

Xion: IF WE DIE TONIGHT…I LOVE YOU!

Jlbean: I KNOW!

Xion: WHAT?

Jlbean: I CAN READ MINDS! NO IMA KIDDIN! I WROTE THIS STORY!

Xion: SO YOU PURPOSELY MADE ME LOVE YOU? SO…DO YOU…

Jlbean: NO!

Xion: SO WHY…WAIT I KNOW! I'M PART OF YOUR MIND! ITS BECAUSE YOUR SO UGLY AND YOU'VE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND SO YOUR DESPERATE? RIGHT?

Jlbean: No, your not supposed to tell them the truth!

Xion: But its true.

Jlbean: NO I HAVE A MUSTACHE!

Xion: A small one. And that's really it.

Jlbean: No…well…I have…no…well…I have good cologne!

Xion: …I STILL LOVE YOU!

Jlbean: I know…sadly…

Xion: …Sadly? Then why did you choose me and not Larxene?

Larxene: Yeah…I'm way hotter!

Jlbean: Well…uh…she's uh…meant for…Axel…

Larxene: Oh… (disappears into lightning)

Xion: Well then…you'd have chosen Larxene…over…me…(eyes start welling up)

Jlbean: Nah she's a b-

Xion: NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDDYS!

Jlbean: Okay…jeez...

Xion: OH COME HERE BABY!

Jlbean: (wide eyed) …dear god… (jumps out of the car)

Xion: (smiles devilishely) I love it when they play hard to get… (jumps after Jlbean)

Demyx: (holding a video camera) Soooo going on facebook!

_Scene _(no…)


	7. Funeral

Experiment XIII

(final chapter)

**Authors Note: Yes…it's all over…oh and I'll explain why in the bottom AN. When I am thinking of it being over I'm hearing the KH 358/2 days Dearly Beloved in the background. It's depressing. **

**Xion: Why is it over?**

**Jlbean: …cause it is…**

**Reviews: Little Sweety Pea: **

**Xion: Thank you for supporting our upcoming marriage!**

**Jlbean: (eye twich) …Y U NO HATE? I NO HAPPY? **

**Xion: I can't hate her if she supports our love honey.**

**Jlbean: 1, I'm not talking to you psychotic woman. 2, I'm not going to marry you. Period. Oh and, if were nobody's, how do you love meh?**

**Xion: I dunno.**

**Jlbean: …(eye twich)…**

**Disclaimer: **

**Xion: Kingdom Hearts will be his! He has me!**

**Jlbean: (extreme eye twich)…(blushes like a tomato on fire in a furnace painted red)…**

Day 2 Night: Funeral

(358/2 days Dearly beloved in the background…open up a new tab and listen to it on youtube for ultimate saddening effects)

Xemnas: We have gathered here today to honor Jlbean in his death.

Xion: (crying continuously)

Larxene: (slaps Xion) Shut up…he never loved you anyway…

Xion: (Crys even louder)

Xemnas: Oh dear…Xion don't…cry…(begins to cry)

Roxas: HEY! DON'T HIT HER!

Larxene: (slaps Roxas) Shut up…aren't you dead?

Roxas:…no…that was my FanFiction stunt double…

Larxene: Shame…

Marluxia: SHUT UP!

Larxene: (slaps Marluxia) shut up…(looks at him strangely)…wait…why did you…

Roxas: (looks at Marluxia wide eyed…an scoots away from him…fifteen chairs away…) woah…

Xemnas: Everyone…its…ok…ok…ok-k-kAAYYYYY!(begins to cry crazily)

Larxene: (slaps Xemnas) SHADDUP!

Xemnas: (snaps his fingers and says) OH NO SHE DIDN'T! (lunges at Larxene)

(Fight…15 min. later)

Hooded figure: SHADDUP!

Xion: Who are you? (gasp) I know that voice! It's-it's…you! (hugs the hooded figure)

Hooded figure: Umm…

Xion: (pulls off the hooded guys hood to reveal…)

Everyone: (gasp)

Xion: Jlbean!

Jlbean: Uh…Xem…can I get a restraining order?

Xemnas: No…you live together…

Jlbean: …you made that sound…so wrong…

Xemnas: (smirks) I know…you live together…in the castle…so no…

Jlbean: (disappointed)

Xion: (smirks) I know what'll cheer you up. (kisses Jlbean)

Jlbean: (poker face) …

Xion: (attempts to hug Jlbean but he dodges)

Jlbean: (troll face) Problem Xion?

Xion: (shakes fist) I WILL GET YOU!

Jlbean: Not today! (runs off)

Xemnas: …funeral's…over?

Xion: Yay!

_Meanwhile_

Jlbean: (rocking in the corner sucking his thumb) …

Demyx: (rocking next to Jlbean, repeatedly saying) there are no meme's…there are no meme's…there are no meme's…

**End authors note: Ok…I owe you all an explaination…hmm…how do I say this? I GOT YOU FOOLS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THIS ISN'T THE LAST CHAPTER! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Ok…so umm…yeah…(troll face) PROBLEM?**


	8. Day 3

Experiment XIII

**Authors Note: Hello my fellow-**

**Xemnas: It's…ALIIIIVEEE!**

**Erm…okay. Yesh…I'm alive. Ive just been…a little…I dunno…busy. Yeah, busy. So I'm going to be writing a long-ish chapter now to kinda make up for the long wait! **

**Reviews: **

**Little Sweety Pea: Aha…Ahaha. That was funneh. Im sowwy!**

**Disclaimer: …what do you think?**

Chap: 8

_Day 3, Morning-day_

Scenario: Jlbean is in Traverse Town, Hallow Bastion, Radiant Gardens etc. He's standing outside the motel door. The Organization thought (being drunk n' all) a vacation was needed. He is staring at a Black Widow Spider. Outside HIS, and Xion's motel room door. Of course, Xemnas being the craphead he is, made Xion and him share a room. Revenge is the 2nd biggest thing on his mind, behind how the hell he's going to move this spider. The spider wasn't moving. Xion wasn't moving. She was cowering behind Jlbean. Along with everyone else. Except Xemnas and Saix. Xemnas flew by to his room and Saix, being a dog, wasn't afraid at all. Jlbean had a Clorox bottle, a automobile cleaner spray bottle, an insect repellant spray bottle, a large shoe (Xemnas'…revenge), and a long cardboard cylinder stick. And gloves.

Jlbean: (stares at the spider) …mother of god.

Xion: (stares at the spider) …

Demyx: (stares at the spider) hmph…I could take that little-

Jlbean: (punches Demyx in the face without looking at him) Shaddup…im thinking.

Sora: (first appearance yay!) Moment of badassness.

Jlbean: WHO YOU?

Sora: Erm…it's me…Sora. Keyblade master. The hero of this game.

Vexen: You broke the 4th wall.

Radio Guy: (yesh Im including him again) Why did you do it Sora?

Vexen: (runs off yelling into the radio)

Sora: Im confused.

Jlbean: We all are…we all are.

Xion: Hello, nice to meet you! Im Xion.

Roxas: I'm Roxas. You look like me. Damn your handsome.

Jlbean: GAY.

Roxas: No that's Marluxia. Im giving myself a compliment.

Jlbean: Yeah, SURE.

Roxas: Whatev's.

Marluxia: And who is thi-

Larxene: YOU FREAKIN' SKIPPED ME!

Marluxia: Don't look at me! Jlbean's the writer!

Larxene: Yeah but Jlbean is Axel's friend. Hi little ****tart. Im Larxene.

Sora: Rude much.

Marluxia: Aw, you'll get used to it. Now, who is this handsome devil?

Jlbean: Marluxia's gay.

Sora: I can tell.

Luxord: Greetings. I am Luxord. Wanna gamble a bit?

Sora: After the rest of the introductions.

Luxord: (super happy twinkling eyes) Okay,

Jlbean: Don't ask.

Sora: I won't.

Demyx: What's poppin'? Im Demyx. I rock. Not like the 'crack rock' rock, but the 'musical rock n' roll rock'. Hey look abutterfly! I love butterflies! I love music. I love MUSICAL BUTTERFLIES! DO YOU HAVE AN IPOD?

Sora: Hello Demyx.

Jlbean: ADHD.

Sora: Got it.

Axel: Name's Axel. Got it memorized?

Sora: Maybe.

Axel: THEN ****ING MEMORIZE IT!

Sora: Let me guess, anger issues?

Jlbean: No that's Larxene. (Larxene waves) He likes to play with fire so he has rage burst every once in a while and you were his target.

Zexion: Greetings. Zexion.

Sora: Don't speak much do ya?

Jlbean: No he doesn't.

Lexaus: Wassup little midget? Im Lexaus!

Sora, Roxas, and Xion: I take offense to that!

Jlbean: You'll get used to it.

Vexen: (walks back) Hello 4th wall breaker, I'm Vexen.

Sora: Spazz attack scientist. Got it.

Jlbean: Yep.

Xaldin: Hello little boy! Wanna be my friend.

Sora: Sorry! You don't seem to be very popular around here! If I want to make any progress at all, I can't be associated with you! I hope you understand!

Xaldin: (forever alone) …

Demyx: (falls onto his knees crying)

Sora: The hell? Anyway, I hope you understand. It's just because nobody likes you!

Xigbar: AS IF!

Sora: AS IF what?

Xigbar: I dunno, its my catchphrase. Name's Xigbar.

Jlbean: Herro little buddy! Im Jlbean! The writer of this fanfiction!

Vexen: DAMN IT! (runs off screaming into his radio)

Riku and Kairi: (walk in) Hey Sora! Who are these Pedophile's?

The Organization: (looks towards the 2 newbie's with the poker face meme)

Sora: Not pedophiles! Just older people.

Jlbean: Initiate greeting sequence.

Demyx: (stops crying) EHEM! Sora meet Riku Riku meet Sora Sora meet Kairi Kairi meet Sora Sora meet Sora Kairi meet Riku Riku meet Kairi Kairi you're a redhead Kairi meet Kairi Riku you rock your silver hair Riku meet yourself in this mirror (pulls out a mirror) wow I need to clean this Im Demyx Demyx meet Riku Riku meet me Sora meet me I meet you Kairi meet me I meet you I LIKE BUTTERLIES. (stares off into space)

Jlbean: (snaps his fingers in front of Demyx's face)

Demyx: Oh yeah! Jlbean meet the three of them the three of you meet him meet the doppelganger of Sora, Roxas, Riku meet Roxas, Roxas meet Riku, Kairi who looks just like Xion meet Roxas, Roxas meet Xion, Xion meet the rest of you-

Kairi and Sora: You do look like us!

Demyx: NO INTERRUPTING! Everyone meet the three musketeers, you all meet Xion, the little girl, Roxas, the little boy, Larxene, the b****, Marluxia, the gay, Luxord, the gambler, Sora you promised to gamble with him, me the ADHD rock sta-BUTTERFLIES!

Jlbean: (snaps fingers)

Demyx: I LOVE PANCAKES! Axel, the pervert, Saix, the doggie who has blue hair and is absent from this introduction, Zexion, the emo, Lexaus, the insulting bodybuilder, Vexen, the 4th wall protector, scientist, pedophile, and spazz attack artist, Xaldin the forever alone boy (crys a little), Xigbar the pirate pervert, pedophile, and Xemnas out superior and father who is absent from this introduction as well, probably having sex with Saix. Jlbean is the creator!

Vexen: (walks back in) DAMN YOU!

Jlbean: HEEEY WHERE DID THE SPIDER GO?

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_**EN-**_

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	9. Dreams

**Experiment XIII**

**AN: _There is no way to fully stress how sorry I am for the long delay. So I won't. But I updated all of my story's to make up for it!_**

**Reviews: (Chapter 6) 3582 guy: I wuz on mah chair.**

**(Chapter 8) Little Sweety Pea: Maybe…just maybe.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Jlbean: Disclaimer mode.**

**Demyx: (Clears Throught) . 0U0**

_Day 3_

_Afternoon_

(P.S. This chapter will be Pokemon themed, just for kicks)

Scenario: Jlbean stands in the blue corner cuz blue is frickin aweshum, and speaks his entrance catchphrase: _I am Bean, Spider Destroyer! _Then, the red corner contestant shows his face. It is the Black Widow Spider.

(Random voice speaks) Ready, **FIGHT!**

**Jlbean: **An unknown warrior.

Gender: Unknown (T-T)

Gender: Male

5000 HP

50 Attack

50 Defense

50 Speed

1,000,000 Intelligence

0 Attractiveness.

Moves:

Clorox: 15/15 Sprays – A Strong spray of Clorox cleanses the enemy.

Boot: 5/5 Crushes – A Strong crush by a boot. 1 hit K.O.

Stick: 20/20 Whacks – A whack with a stick.

Gloves: 10/10 Pairs – Person puts on a pair of gloves to raise defense.

**Black Widow Spider: **A poisonous spider.

Gender: Unknown

5000 HP

70 Attack

40 Defense

100 Speed

999,999 Intelligence

1 Attractiveness

Moves:

Bite: 5/5 Bites – A strong bite on player. May poison opponent.

Scratch: 20/20 Swipes – A slight swipe on opponent. Lowers defense.

Observe: 20/20 Looks – An analysis of opponent. Raises Intelligence.

Web: 10/10 Webs. – Spins a web to lower attack and damage opponent.

Jlbean: Haha! I have more Intelligence!

Black Widow Spider uses _Observe! _999,999 +1=1,000,000 Intelligence 19/20 Looks left.

Jlbean: Damn.

Jlbean uses _Clorox! _5000 HP – 500 = 4,500 HP. 14/15 Sprays remaining.

Black Widow Spider uses _Bite! _ 5000 HP – 10 = 4990 4/5 Bites remaining.

Jlbean: Haha! Only 10 HP! What kind of move is tha-

You are poisoned! 4990 – 1000 HP = 3990 HP.

Jlbean: Oh…S***.

Jlbean uses _Gloves! _50 + 50 = 100 Defense 9/10 Pairs left. You are poisoned! 3990 – 900 = 3090 HP.

Jlbean: This is not fair!

Black Widow Spider uses _Web! _50 – 5 = 45 attack. 3090 – 40 = 3050 HP. 9/10 Webs remaining.

Jlbean uses _Stick! _4500 – 500 = 4000 HP 19/20 whacks left. You are Poisoned! 3090 – 900 = 2190

Jlbean: Oh Crap!

Black Widow uses _Scratch_. 2190 - 100 = 2090 Defense is lowered. 100 – 60 = 40

Jlbean: I hate you spider.

Jlbean uses _stick! The attack missed!_ You are poisoned! 2090 – 2000 = 90 HP!

Jlbean: Son of a –

Black Widow uses _observe! _1,000,000 + 1 = 1,000,001 Intelligence.

Jlbean: …oh…Mah…GAWD! NOBODY HAS A HIGHER INTELLIGENCE LEVEL THAN ME!

Jlbean uses _boot! _ 1 Hit-K.O.!

(Final Fantasy Victory Theme)

Jlbean: That's what I thought.

Vexen: Actually, I have a larger Intelligence than both of you!

Jlbean uses _Clorox!_ (In the eyes) It's super effective!

Vexen: Augh! Mah EYES!

(Random voice): **FATALITY**

(Then Jlbean wakes up)

_Day 3_

_Night_

Jlbean: (Waking up) What…happened? (Looks over to see he's lying in bed…with…Xionandthespider'sontopofher!)

Jlbean: YAAAAARRRGGGH! (Throws spear onto the spider, killing it.)

Xion: (Wakes up screaming) Ahh! (Sees the spear impaling the spider and begins to freak out) I'm Freaking Out!

Jlbean: (Thinks to himself, "I have to kiss her to calme her down! Or…") (Slaps Xion in the face) Shaddap! It's dead!

Xion: (Whispers) Are you sure?

Jlbean: Yeah…I impaled it with…a…spear…(realizes he was sleeping in the same bed as Xion and begins to scream bloody murder while flailing his arms around) BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

Jlbean: (Jumps out the window)

_Scene_

**Personally hate it, but I hated all my other chapters and you all…few people seemed to like it so…screw me, I'm here to please you!**

**-Jlbean**


End file.
